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1. Uncle and Lolita
update icon Updated at 2023/6/19 17:41:16

Ever since I was reincarnated into this world, I have been thinking about my role definition.

Please forgive my obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I have reasons to believe that in a clichéd story where the hero defeats the demon king, the roles must be clearly defined and easily understood.

Let's not discuss the division of labor among the demons for now, and treat them all as villains.

For the human side, it's easy to define roles such as the "main character," "supporting characters," and "bystanders." The main character can be further divided into male lead, female lead, second male lead, second female lead... the list goes on.

Here, the hero is undoubtedly the main character. Young heroes become stronger with their friends and eventually defeat the evil demon king with cool skills. Ah, this kind of story never gets old no matter which world it takes place in, giving me goosebumps.

Supporting characters are those who have a certain relationship with the hero, such as members of the hero's team.

As for bystanders, they need to have a chance encounter with the hero, like villagers killed by the villains.

But after all, what am I?

Saiwa, 26 years old, a weapon shop owner.

So far, countless young men and women have bought weapons from me to challenge the demon king. I call them "Hero No.1," "Hero No.2," etc. In just two years, this number has soared to 575, but the demon king is still alive and well, occasionally sending soldiers to harass our rear camp.

Up until now, I still don't know if I've ever met the main character or if I can be considered a bystander.

Since the place where I was reincarnated is similar to a novice village, there are basically no demons coming here.

This girl is an exception.

"Big brother, this..."

The little girl with a snow-white hat raised a shiny silver dagger.

Pale skin, a cute face with a hint of baby fat unique to young girls, and deep red pupils. If she wasn't wearing a hat, one could see a pair of small horns growing on her forehead. Dressed in common linen clothes and a white apron in the village, a girl of this level exudes an irresistible beauty no matter what she wears.

To sum it up in one word, she is pure and spotless. A pure white girl.

Ilan, a demon tribe. About ten years old, she suddenly appeared at the door of the shop covered in wounds. Although I haven't asked, she probably stumbled here after breaking through the human defense line. At that time, I was really shocked, thinking that she was going to die. After she woke up, I worried if I would be killed.

"I told you to call me uncle, and don't let children play with knives."

I gently took the knife with my right hand, wearing thick canvas gloves.

"Yes, but brother, you look so young."

Since I'm already old in another world, I couldn't say such words, so I patted Ilan's head through the hat instead.

She smiled foolishly, squinting her eyes like a cat.

"I worked really hard to clean today as well!"

I looked around following her words. To be honest, the small wooden house has limited light and space. A counter divides the 60-square-meter room into two parts. The two sides have ancient wooden shelves filled with the weapons I personally made. Long swords, short daggers, double-edged swords, katanas, battle axes, war hammers, crossbows, longbows, steel spears, tridents, and other weapons you can think of are sold and available in various models for popular weapons.

My proudest works are kept on the inner side behind me, and the silver dagger just now is one of them. Ilan's job is to clean the house, including sweeping garbage from the floor and dusting weapons with a duster.

By the way, the best-selling item is the long sword; it seems that heroes should use swords. Daggers also sell well, but spears and axes don't sell for a long time. It might be because people think they are not cool, even though I tried hard to make them look good.

"Hey, this is the place to buy weapons, huh? You guys, come in and have a look if there's any treasure!"

A customer?

Thinking so, I looked up at the door.

A blond boy about fourteen or fifteen years old, dressed in a refined style. The attire of deep red and white intertwined, reminiscent of late medieval nobility. Following his shout, four more boys of similar age squeeze in.

"Welcome! We have a full range of weapons available, please feel free to choose."I'm not interested in arrogant brats, as usual, I rest my head on the counter, dozing off.

"Hmph, do you know who I am, uncle?"

"No matter who you are, you're a guest when you come here."

"Guest? I am a member of the prestigious Virga family in the nearby area. I am different from the ordinary villagers."

Villagers? Oh, so my current role is defined as a villager. But are villagers just passers-by? It doesn't seem so.

I am not in the mood to converse with him as I ponder.

After a while, I heard a clanging sound.

"Please, please don't do that. It will damage the weapons..."

Ilan is a bit shy, so her voice is very soft.

I then notice that the brat is chopping at two knives against each other. Since I thought those two knives were made quite average, I didn't care too much. It's better to avoid trouble since he's a noble. So I plan to hint Ilan not to interfere.

But Ilan stared at the notches in the sword and suddenly shouted:

"Stop it right now! That's what my brother worked so hard to make, uh, I mean... it's someone else's, hard work..."

The blond-haired young man looked up at Ilan, swallowed, and stared straight at her. Ilan lowered her head in fear.

The young man snorted and threw the knives in his hands to the ground.

"I, Durant Virga, am going to be a hero! These shoddy gadgets aren't worthy of me at all!"

The little minions behind him cheered.

I'm old enough to be called uncle, and I really don't want to bother with these half-grown children.

"Well, I'm sorry we don't have what you want. Please look elsewhere."

Having issued an eviction order, I shake my head to hint Ilan not to attend to the customers anymore.

"Hold on!"

The self-proclaimed Durant shifts his eyes and says to me:

"After all, a small shop like yours doesn't sell many weapons in a year. This young master will give you a break. I practice the family's Moon God style, do you have a decent rapier?"

He spoke arrogantly, hands on his hips.

Ilan didn't seem to notice my hint and stood there blankly. I casually grabbed a decent rapier from behind and tossed it to him.

Durant leaped up and caught it in his hand easily, practicing two or three moves.

"Well, for a craftsman of your level, it's a pretty good sword. I find it quite handy. How much?"

"Five silver coins."

The price didn't seem to bother him. He threw a gold coin on the counter and said to me:

"Get a few more of the swords I just used for my men. No need for change."

In this country, one gold coin can be exchanged for about 30 silver coins.

"Pick them yourself, thank you for your patronage."

Although I am not a street-wise person who only sees money, there is no need to refuse the windfall that comes my way.

It was then that Durant grabbed Ilan's hand.

"You know, you don't have to stay in a place like this all the time. Why not go outside and see something? My family is very rich. With me, you can wear better clothes. Besides, the food is better than here. How about going on an adventure with us? The one who defeats the Demon King in the end is me, Durant!"

"Woo..."

Her attempt to break free was unsuccessful.

As Ilan was warned not to use her ghostly power in here, she was at a loss.

Durant's swordsmanship was genuine, and he must have had some corresponding training.

It's normal to be arrogant at this young age with power and prestige.

Teaching such a child is also my job.

"Please leave as soon as you finish your shopping. My staff is also troubled."

"Shut up. I've given you money, haven't I? You lower-class people should just be obedient and not do anything out of line."

"That's right, that's right. If you mess with Durant, you won't get any good results. Durant is a genius who can easily defeat even a grizzly bear! A delicate uncle like you would be beaten down in a few moves!"

What's with this villain's speech? Are these guys really heroes?

I should consider whether to call Durant the 576th hero.

I shook my head. Never mind.

Seeing me motionless, Durant moved his hand toward Ilan's face."Alright Ilan, time to send off the guest."

This phrase meant that Ilan didn't need to suppress the power of the ghost anymore.

I did this out of consideration, as Ilan's nature is not bad, and she wouldn't casually kill Durant; her hat was still on her head properly, so even if she used the power of the ghost, ordinary people wouldn't think that such a pitiful little girl could be a ghost.

Sure enough, Ilan, with tears in her eyes, grabbed Durant's wrist and easily threw him out of the store with a shoulder throw.

Durant rolled around the doorway a couple of times, covered in dirt.

His subordinates stirred.

If they had any sense, they would have run away after seeing the difference in strength. I would definitely have run away.

But unfortunately, Durant happened to be a foolish child. With a clang, his rapier was drawn out, and he attacked Ilan from various angles. His footwork was also very accurate, maximizing the speed of the silver rapier as it danced around, leaving several silver streaks near his body. The range of about one and a half meters from his arm plus the sword length was his territory; indeed, in terms of battle experience, Ilan was overwhelmingly inadequate.

"Ha, hahaha, are you so scared in the face of Brother Durant's sword that you can't move? That's right, even adult swordsmen would have a hard time defending against this sword technique!"

It's so shameful! He actually had his own subordinates explain his moves. Shouldn't he have come up with a name, like Meteor Breaking Slash or something? No, no, too chuuni...

"You can't dodge it at all! That move was learned by Durant after mastering the essence of swordsmanship, the Meteor Breaking Slash!!"

It's really called Meteor Breaking Slash!!

Thank you for your hard work in the commentary.

However, now Ilan could only retreat step by step, looking lost and almost crying.

Finally, she completely gave up and ran back to me, sobbing.

"Wuwu... wahaha... help me, brother~"

Really, just like when we first met. Suddenly crying and hugging me.

My clothes were smeared with blood at that time.

I scratched my head.

— Boom!

Well, today's floor is my gift to you.

Durant's face was as dumb as a wooden chicken. His mouth was wide open, and his saliva spilled onto the floor.

It can't be helped, just now he was confident in demonstrating his swordsmanship, and before he realized it, his face was pressed against the floor, and the force was so heavy that even the old wooden floor cracked. I would be baffled too.

"What... what just happened!"

"That old man, he..."

"How could it be..."

I rolled Durant's face on the floor again.

"Kid, you don't look like a hero like this. This is a weapon store, not a place of debauchery. Be it noble or commoner, my store is my store."

I flicked the gold coin in my hand into the air, and as it fell, it accurately hit his forehead.

I glanced at the rapier stuck in the floor and added.

"I've changed my mind now. I won't sell the weapon either. Get out of here."

However, Durant seemed to have collapsed on the ground, so I had his four subordinates carry him away.

I didn't really want to use force on a half-grown kid, but when I saw Ilan wiping her tears with her delicate fingers, I got a bit impulsive.

Even though I am already at such an age.

So today, the uncle of the weapon store still didn't meet the hero.